hit me baby one more time
by sllebswap
Summary: TeruNene Terunori is injured. Chaos (and the Tsukasa family) ensues. Passive Aggressive verse. Peerless verse compliant. (Peerless!EiRin!cameo)


**Title:** hit me baby one more time

**Author: **sllebswap

**Characters/Pairing: **Kinokuni Nene and Kuga Terunori

**Type:** OneShot (Complete)

**Genre:** Romance/General/Humor

**Word Count:** 1668

**Rating: **T (Contains content not suitable for children)

**Disclaimer:** Shokugeki no Souma belongs to Tsukuda-san.

**Summary: **Terunori is injured. Chaos (and the Tsukasa family) ensues.

**Verse:** Canon Divergent AU/Post Canon/Passive Aggressive verse/Peerless verse compliant

**Chapter Last Revised on:** 12/06/19

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He came back dripping in blood one evening.

Her eyes had widened silently at the sight when he walked through the door holding a rag to his head in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Nene stood up from the couch and quickly walked over, a myriad of expressions flitting over her usually calm, sedate features.

Terunori was in a foul mood, as anyone would rightfully be if they had been minding their business one day when some random, inebriated stranger decided to fall on him and introduce his head to the unforgiving concrete curb in the process.

He kicked the door shut behind him just as the celadon-haired woman came to a stop before him. He took one look at her unusually preoccupied expression and started to wave her off.

"It's not as bad as it looks," he grumbled.

She smacked his hand away and reached over all the same, as always showcasing her casual disregard of his opinion, which made him frown at her.

Pale, slender hands briskly and no-nonsensely took over applying pressure over the wound. The rag was more pink than white by now, which was slightly concerning.

Her ruby gaze met his, already expecting answers. "What did you do this time?"

He rolled his eyes at her deceptively mild tone. "Why do you automatically assume that it's because of something I did?" he asked back.

She lifted one fine, slender brow, as if he had just answered his own question. He narrowed his eyes, disgruntled. If anything, she made a fine distraction from the stinging, irritating discomfort pulling at his scalp…and _then_ she pressed down firmly.

"_Fuc-_dge_!"_ he cussed, stiffening as a blinding bolt of pain crashed through his head. "Can you be gentler? I'm an injured victim here!"

Unimpressed by his whining, Nene peeled back the rag after a few beats to inspect the wound. The gash at the side of his head was still sluggishly exuding blood; it didn't look very deep but it was a rather long, nasty slash all the same. And since head wounds tended to bleed a lot, he looked a rather sorry, grisly sight.

The implications were clear.

She looked at him again, and he glowered back rather crossly, pain making his temper short. "Done fussing?"

"You need stitches, so we should go to the hospital," she concluded crisply.

He just continued to stare at her, so she switched promptly gears, that organized, disciplined mind of her already jumping on ahead to what's next. "I'll call an ambulance."

"Wait a damn minute," he sputtered before she could reach for the phone. "If you _think_ for one second that I'd consent to being publicly loaded into an ambulance, _conscious_-"

She gave him another exasperated look and cut him off before he could start yowling. "I don't know who you're trying to impress with your machismo but you're bleeding all over the carpets and I'm not amused by the mess."

"Are the carpets more important to you or is the fact that I'm mortally wounded more important?" he demanded to know, outraged by her nonchalance.

He was such a drama _queen_.

She leveled a flat stare at him from behind the rim of her glasses. "Getting the carpets professionally cleaned is going to cost more than getting you stitched up, so you're going to the hospital even if you have to be hauled there strapped onto a gurney."

He was thoroughly offended now. "I don't need stitches," he protested grouchily. "I just need a shower and a nap."

Did he think that he was a demi god?

"No naps," she rejected firmly. "You probably have a concussion. You should get an MRI later too, just in case. Maybe an X-Ray as well, to verify that nothing too important is broken up there."

She was really very insulting, this woman. And the number of procedures he needed to have was starting to grow more and more by the second. He balked, and his expression must have been telling enough for her, since she paused and leveled a curious stare at him.

"…Don't tell me. You're afraid of hospitals."

"I am _not_," he immediately denied. Maybe tooimmediately. She continued to stare, pokerfaced, at him.

Then she deliberately pressed down on his head wound again, as hard as she could. He yelled.

"_Holy Shit-_ake mushrooms!"

"Are you going or not?" she asked with serene, placid menace. He stared warily at her. She did not bat an eyelid, did not budge.

"You're supposed to be more sympathetic," he accused, changing the subject. She blinked at him, faintly surprised by his outrageous remark.

"…You require sympathy?" she echoed, perplexed.

He rolled his eyes at her. "I don't think there's any man out there who would be averse to being fawned over, right?"

She just continued to stare at him. "…I think your concussion may be getting worse," she deadpanned. "Perhaps you should also stay a couple of nights at the hospital for further observation."

Before he could yell again, she pulled him towards the couch, made him sit down and hold the rag to his bruised head once more. Then she left him there for a while before efficiently returning with a new, clean rag and an ice pack. The stained cloth was replaced and she brought wet towels too, to wipe away the dried blood as much as possible before she sent him off to change out of the soiled clothes.

"Aren't you going to help me in there, too?" he asked.

She was in the process of briskly cleaning up the mess, and gazed at him blankly. He mustn't be too injured if he was still fooling around right now.

"…Very well, I'll call Tsukasa-senpai and request his assistance, since you're incapable of basic tasks."

He promptly had a change of mind, naturally.

"_No need_."

Unbeknownst to Terunori, the S.O.S. message had already been sent some fifteen minutes ago, since she had an inkling that he was going to be a big baby about this whole debacle.

"Yoohoo, the cavalry is here! Somebody better be dying in there; I gave up Netflix for this!" Rindou-senpai's arrival was heralded by her energetic announcement a few minutes later. The Tsukasa family did not live too far away and had rallied to the cause swiftly enough.

The bicolor haired male popped his head out of the bedroom upon hearing all that noise and did not look very happy to see the circus gathering in his living room. His gaze turned to Nene accusingly. "You _called_ them?"

She shrugged daintily. "You obviously can't drive and you also stubbornly refused an ambulance. I messaged Tsukasa-senpai, explained the situation, and he graciously volunteered."

Nene had not expected Rindou-senpai to come with as well. The redhead, who happened to be heavily pregnant with her second child at the moment, looked like she, too, might be requiring a short stay in the hospital's delivery ward soon.

Rindou waddled over to inspect her injured kouhai and rested her arms akimbo on her burgeoning waistline. "Whaddya do to yourself this time, Kuga?" Hilariously enough, it was the same question that Nene had posed earlier. He twitched.

"Why do all of you automatically assume that I did this to myself?" he exclaimed, irritated.

The redhead retorted drolly, gold eyes sparkling with amusement. "Oh, I dunno; you seem kinda special like that."

Eishi, who wandered over as well carrying his young, sleepy son, remarked by way of greeting. "That looks like a rather substantial wound. You should get it looked at as soon as possible, Kuga."

"Why did you have to drag your wife and kid along too?" Terunori asked the white-haired man disgruntledly in return. "Is this a family fieldtrip to you?"

Eishi started to look rather exasperated as well as he briefly eyed his wife, who was now busy hassling Nene for more details about Kuga's condition. "I did not _drag_ Rindou anywhere. She insisted on coming."

And since neither parent would consent to leaving their toddler son alone at home, the drowsy little one had been brought along for the impromptu late-night adventure too, apparently.

Terunori rolled his eyes. "How come you're always such a pushover whenever that woman's concerned?"

"Oy Shorty, don't bully my husband," the female in question quipped. "Only I get to do that."

Terunori looked pointedly at Tsukasa. "Why did you marry her, again?"

Eishi gazed at the cheeky, grinning woman. "Sometimes I wonder too," he uttered dryly.

One of those many reasons stirred restlessly in his father's arms then, lifting his little head and blinking blearily at the adults. Hi'en looked vaguely disoriented by his strange surroundings but his parent's calm presence soothed his unsure fretting.

Nene gazed at the young boy and he gazed back at her with big, solemn gold eyes. Rindou grinned at the younger woman's quiet fascination with her son. "Isn't our Hi'en super cute? You may have him if you want~"

"No, you absolutely may not." Eishi was quick to refute his other half's playful jest. This wasn't the first time she had cheerfully offered their firstborn to random people in their lives and Hi'en was actually adorable enough for those aforementioned individuals to jokingly consider keeping the precocious youngling, much to his father's chagrin. "But you're welcome to hold him for a while, Kinokuni."

"Excuse me," Terunori spoke up crossly then. "This has been very interesting and all but I'm _still_ having a medical emergency over here."

"'Kay, let's all go and fix that gigantic hole in Kuga's head!" Rindou decided with a clap of her hands, though her wording made Terunori's eyelid twitch. She also petted the younger male on the shoulder. "A grown man shouldn't be jealous of a one year old, my friend! I'm sure Nene-chan will baby you later too if you ask nicely!"

Eishi tried not to laugh at the expression on Kuga's face. He coughed instead.

"…Rindou, if you make Kuga's blood pressure rise some more, he's going to start bleeding again."

* * *

_::owari::_

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**Questions That I Would Like To Answer Before You Ask:**

I don't know where this random idea came from but it was fun writing it, regardless. Hope you guys enjoyed as well!

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By the by, this little piece belongs to Passive Aggressive verse. If you require more context, please go read that fic!

_Characters' ages in this installment: _

Kuga Terunori: 25 y.o.  
Kinokuni Nene: 25 y.o.  
Tsukasa Eishi: 26 y.o.  
Kobayashi Rindou: 26 y.o.

**xXxXxXxXxX**

Your reviews make me update faster; so please leave a comment if you like this fic!

-sllebswap


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